I'm trying to get my business off the ground while raising two kids under 5. I'm constantly between 5-6 hours of sleep a night. It's a vicious cycle - the longer it goes the more I need to work late to catch up. Yet the later I work, the less efficient I become. I know that I need a good sleep reset, but there never seems to be a good time. Exercise become difficult to schedule, and I've definitely gained weight over the last several years. It's not good, but the decline is slow and hard to recognize in the moment. It's been so long (4 years now?) that I think I've forgotten what feeling rested feels like.
The "trick" is to set up a hard rule. If you get up at 6.30 in the morning, be in bed at 10p no matter what so that you will fall asleep by 10.30p-11p at the very latest (8h of sleep).
Also, no laptop/phone/tablet/etc. in the bedroom - just books/magazines. Reading before bed is the best way to slowly move towards sleep and not keep yourself up for hours the way that looking at a screen does.
Yes, sometimes you feel like you can work for an extra couple hours, etc. - but at the end of the day it's a choice you have to make. If you genuinely care about being healthy, put {sleep | healthy food | exercise } before everything else. The first few weeks might be a bit rough, but the rest will follow.
Making hard rules like these seems to me like the only sensible solution. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that expecting to run a successful early-stage business and being a good parent to two young childen is impossible unless you lower your requirements on one or both fronts. If you don't lower the requirements voluntarily, nature will do it for you. (There are rare examples of people who have extraordinary endurance, but they are by definition extraordinary).
Burnout is not fun and it can put your out of business for months, or even years if you have a bad case. (In my case, it was a year and a half of zero productive work). One of my relatives, after a particularly rough Ph.D, claimed that she will never be able to perform at the same level again. It's okay to be ambitious, but I think too many young and ambitious people let their ambition get the best of them. Learning your limits by crashing into them at full speed is not advisable.
I don't mean to sound negative or dismissive, but I've experienced this myself and seen too many cases first-hand not to care. The Silicon Valley startup culture is in many places outright destructive when it comes to this aspect of life.
More constructively: Setting strict deadlines and schedules that you will maintain unless the sky is falling (change the definition to "no matter what" if the sky is "constantly" falling), balancing your time so you have enough sleep and enough time to yourself is a safe way to ensure that you are working sustainably. This will lower your productivity, though. At least make your sacrifices with both eyes open.
Just to add my own personal anecdote, melatonin supplements did not work for me. This is not to say it won't for others, but it isn't magic for everyone.
I use melatonin supplements on a fairly regular basis over the past year to regulate my sleep cycle, as recommended by my doctor to counteract Ritalin-induced insomnia. Studies have shown no reduction in efficacy after three months of use, according to Wikipedia[1]. If no change could be detected by that point, then there's a good chance that it's fine for extended use. From my own experience, this has held true.
> My understanding is that taking it consistently isn't a good idea.
All the research I've read says that it makes absolutely no difference. You never develop an immunity to it and it doesn't inhibit natural production. No research (that I'm aware of) has yet to find a downside, even at regularly taken large doses.
Do you have a source? I haven't seen anything that suggests it isn't unhealthy. It take it almost daily, have done so for over six months, and have never slept better or had as much energy. It's also given me the energy to get in better physical shape.
I don't have sources that outline the issues on why taking it for a long time is bad. I have talked to a pharmacist and other articles stating that it's a temporary fix.
Here's another article mentioning that it should be taken for 3 months at most:
The three months is because there have been studies showing it is safe for that long. But afaik there have been no studies suggesting that it would not be safe to take it for longer.
My ex often slept only a few hours a night and my oldest son was born with sleep issues. I also had to do a lot to recover from being very ill and on a lot of medication, which completely screwed up my brain chemistry and sleep cycle.
Some things that might help you a bit:
1) Take your vitamins.
2) Instead of melatonin at night, take co-q-10 in the morning (about 12 to 14 hours before you typically sleep or need to sleep). This is the co-enzyme for melatonin. It chemically wakes up your brain and will also cause a small spike of melatonin about 12 to 14 hours later (stuff I have read says 12 hours but for me 14 hours worked better). Taking melatonin will not cause a spike in co-q-10 production. When my brain chemistry was seriously screwed, it took me days to stop feeling half asleep if I took melatonin. Co-q-10 was a gentler, more comprehensive means to heal my chemical sleeping-waking cycle.
3) Clean up your sleep area. I have suggested this to multiple people and they are often shocked at how much good it does. Do "spring cleaning" type stuff for where you sleep -- wash all bedding, thoroughly dust, etc.
I frequently consider this path, but I see a lot of people in your situation. I'd be putting my family, business, and self at serious risk. Is that path the right economic choice? I'm not exactly hurting financially right now.
If I am increasing my risk of early death significantly by keeping at that pace, I find it hard to justify the trade off as a father and husband.
After four years, you certainly have enough to make a decision about the long term value of what you're doing. What keeps you motivated to carry on at this pace? Is the fiscal incentive outsized to employment?
Great job on the site! I've used it a couple of times to compare products.
Feeling rested makes you a better father and a better person. Life has a new meaning when you have had enough sleep, proper diet and regular exercise.
Your mind and body is used to the constant pace of doing things day in and day out. I am the same way and I'm trying to change. One thing finishes and I want to start something else. In your case, its your business. There is always something to do. It's a type of addiction.
I also have kids and I've settled on a home gym. Wake up, do the workout and get on with the day. My biggest challenge is shutting everything down at night and going to bed. There is always something to do, to learn, to read.
Anyway, its a tough problem but its worth working on.
Exercise is definitely going to help and to avoid the difficulty in scheduling it, schedule 5-10 minute high intensity workout as soon as you wake up. You'll be surprised how much that helps.
I'd love to help out. I've lost over 20 lbs just doing 5-10 minutes every day and have kept it off, but my primary focus was just feeling more energetic and overcoming all the stress that one spirals into with such schedules. Feel free to follow me on twitter (same username), and I'll DM you my email (don't like to publicly post my email) :/
I sympathise with you, being in a a similar situation (two kids under 5).
What I have found works best for myself is the exercise. It does simply come down to discipline. Do not allow it to be pushed aside. I ensure that I am up at 6:30 each morning to hit the gym and then I am good to go for the day on that natural high. It is harder to stay up in the evenings, and my sleep is interrupted, but when I sleep I sleep well.
I'll have three kids under 4, any day now. I can't remember feeling rested, either, but I've gotten used to it. I'm a professor and about to kick off a startup using free time over summer break. It's worse for my wife, I'm sure. For me, going to the office to work is my "rest".
